Living In The Gutter

Hello My Peeps,

I hope that the last few days since I have written last find you all well? I have had one heck of a week! I find myself becoming more antsy with the approaching surgery. I left the surgeon office on Tuesday morning and was told that the secretary would be calling me with my surgery date...it's Sunday and I'm still awaiting the call...tick tock...tick tock. Don't they know how we are on pins and needles and nervous and anxious enough? So I continue to wait...

While I'm waiting, I have delved deeper into my studies. I still need to take number 3 of 3 teacher certification exams. I got my Master's in Adolescent Education a couple of years ago but then there are a series of tests that the State of NY requires before putting us in a classrooom full of children waiting to hear our knowledge. Since this is something I have coming up in June, I figure if I spend my days studying to my heart's desire, time will go by faster. Now if only that theory worked! I find myself waiting for the phone to ring...wanting to call the office to see if they called and I missed it...something!

On a good note, my husband and I decided to go on a date last night. It was wonderful! We have three children but we always do things with our kids. Alone time for us is rare. However, they have now reached the ages of 14, 12 and 7 and I figured if I hired a babysitter, she'd be as old or younger than my older son! So we went on a short date last night to 'test the waters' and see how they would do.

The first thing we did was ensure they had something to keep them busy. So we got them a new movie to watch which kept them busy for about and hour and a half. When the movie was over we allowed them to pull out their Nintendo Gamecube if they felt they could get along and play nice with each other! Sometimes our 7 year old daughter gets a little rambunctious and that's where the majority of my worry came in ;)

Now with this in order, my husband and I took off...tires peeling out of the driveway! What would it be like to sit down to dinner at a restaurant and not have three kids constantly listening or interrupting our conversation? What would it be like to not have to order the kids food first and cut up their meat and make sure they are happy? We were finally going to be able to have grown-up conversation! I couldn't wait!

So we get to the restaurant and are seated at a nice corner booth kind of away from everyone. We sat across from each other and just enjoyed the company and conversation that we have always had to offer one another but are rarely able to engage in. We shared an appetizer and I enjoyed a small steak and shrimp with an order of twice baked potatoes. I figure this is not something I will be able to enjoy after my surgery so I really enjoyed every bite! Now the question is...did we call the kids during dinner? That is a big fat NO! ;) The only phone call made during dinner was to the bowling alley to reserve a lane for our next adventure!

After we finished our dinner we jumped in the car and headed to the local bowling alley! It was during this time that the kids called us to say the movie was over and they were doing well and about to play their video games. Whew! House was still standing and nothing major had happened to them! God is good!

So on to bowling! Now this is a sport that I have always enjoyed...since I was a kid. However, since we've had kids we generally go to a place that is 5-pin bowling. But I wanted to do a more grown-up version and hit the 10-pins! What a mistake! Who knew that being this overweight would put such a damper on my night. I had been having so much fun up till then. All was good during the first game and then we decided to do a second game. I should have stopped while I was ahead.

Now we had been bowling for about a half hour already and I was starting to get sweaty and irritated. This means that my clothes were starting to stick to me...including my very uncomfortable underwire bra. As this is begining to happen, every time my arm goes to follow through to throw the ball, the fat on my underarm would stick right to the sweaty underwire area of the bra causing it to poke me hard in the fat flesh of my skin :( I was not impressed and was starting to get very upset. I went from being able to throw a strike or at least get a good spare to the majority of my 2nd game balls hitting the gutter!

I still smiled for my husband and acted like gutter balls were no big deal but deep inside I was upset with myself for letting my weight get to this point where I couldn't have any fun at all anymore. I was almost in tears because I couldn't even follow through with the ball and it felt like it was getting heavier and heavier as I got hotter and hotter.

So I found yet another fun thing in my life that I am no longer able to do with ease. I eagerly await this surgery and can't wait to hear the words that I can start walking and exercising. I have so many goals in my future. I'm ready to get my life back. I want to enjoy all the physical and fun things in my life again as well as enjoy my family! I'm tired of feeling like I'm "Living In The Gutter."  

 Cheers and Much Love!
Ellen